Cower in the presence of the Owlbear!


“Hey, I feel kind of sorry for that thing. Maybe we should be merciful and go back and kill it?”

An owlbear is a freak incident of bear rapes owl or the other way around, no one is really sure. Because of conflicting genetic material the owlbear is constantly torn between bear instinct and owl instinct, and is thus damned to eternal confusion and depression. Owlbears have not been known to reproduce. Some observers claim that this is because the owl part of the owlbear takes over as the main parenting instinct, and therefore the owlbear, in an attempt to teach its offspring how to fly, pushes it off of high altitude cliffs.
Killing owlbears (for sport, food or out of pity) is regarded as the humane thing to do. Owlbear meat is a delicacy in some parts of the World. Most people haven’t heard of it.
Linguists speculate that the complex mix of growling and screeching of owlbears can be interpreted to mean “Please, kill me!” It has not yet been possible to verify this.


“Hey, they actually made an Owlbear for the Monster Manual? What were they thinking…”

I’m not sure how many of us had noticed this before, but when we did and when we started thinking about it, we had to evaluate whether it was a serious idea or not. The Owlbear failed this evaluation miserably.


"Cartac" Drokles